Story by April Dudash

Camp Lejeune military spouse Sandra Rivera still remembers receiving the phone call three years ago. When the person on the other end told her that her husbandhad been wounded in a suicide bombing in Kandahar, she screamed. She cried. And then everything was a blur.

Her husband is still recuperating from severe wounds to his face, a traumatic brain injury and post-traumatic stress disorder. Throughout, Rivera has been his right hand, his caregiver and confidant.

And she wants to let other caregivers know they're not alone.

At the September USO Wounded Warrior Family & Caregivers Conference held in Fayetteville, caregivers from around the country gathered to discuss fatigue and resiliency, signs of grief and trauma in children, suicide and depression, and ways to improve communication and confidence.

About 100 attendees listened to the personal stories of Army Sgt. Juan "A.C." Alcivar, who was shot in Iraq in 2007, had a shattered femur replaced with a metal rod and recovered at Walter Reed Army Medical Center. Also on the panel was caregiver Luana Schneider and her son, retired Army Sgt. Scott Stephenson, who survived an IED blast in Iraq five years ago and recovered from an amputated left leg and severe burns covering more than 66 percent of his body.

Rivera, 39, was on the panel representing North Carolina caregivers. She says that the ups and downs of the past three tumultuous years have strained the 13-year marriage she shares with Marine Gunnery Sgt. Felix Rivera.

"It's really easy to give up and say that's it," Rivera said. "Just know that you're his voice."

As she helped him through survivor's guilt and post-traumatic stress, at times he would hate everyone. There were days he would hate her.

But "I couldn't see myself leaving somebody that I said vows to during the weakest point of his life," she said.

She also had to help guide her 9-year-old son, who was displaying signs of trauma and anxiety.

"He knew, felt everything going on around us."

Now, her husband's days are filled with therapy and counseling sessions. The simplest instructions must be written down and posted in obvious spots in their home. Short-term memory loss is a side effect of his brain injury.

He is preparing to medically retire from the Marine Corps, and the Riveras are still adjusting to the "new normal" of family life.

The Riveras live 30 minutes from Camp Lejeune. She meets regularly with Wounded Warrior Battalion spouses to provide advice and emotional support.

She tells the women to gather information about their soldier's recovery, highlight what they don't understand and make contacts with people who can explain the paperwork. She also reminds them that no matter how strong they are, they can't do it alone.

"Put your fears behind," Rivera said. "Ask for help.

"I wish I asked for help sooner."

She is pursuing her bachelor's degree in health care administration from Southern Illinois University, where she is expected to graduate with honors in 2012. She hopes to get a job within the Wounded Warrior Battalion to help other families like hers.

"The girls who just got to the battalion are very young," she said. "When they cry, I cry, because I've been there."